Lost

Im lost.

I'm wandering around in the darkness,

the freezing bitter cold.

I'm so alone.

I'm walking around interacting with everyone with a smile on my face, 

while crying on the inside.

I'm so lost.

Everyone thinks I have it made.

Everyone thinks I have everything perfect and that I'm always happy.

They don't know I cry myself to sleep almost every night.

I feel like im on a never ending merry-go-round..

Spinning.

Turning.

Faster.

Faster.

I can't make it stop no matter how loud I scream.

I'm invisible to the world. 

They see only what I put on the outside. 

I'm careful to give them the right impression.

I wear the right clothes, do my hair, and even put on makeup.

While the real me is a zombie inside.

I promise myself that one day I'll be better.

That I'll be happy again.

I don't know when that will be..

I just hope it's before the light inside me fades out.